Fun with physical therapy

Okay, so it’s not the Saturday TV Funhouse sketch from Saturday Night Live, but it would probably make occasionally good television.  It seems that, if I’m not at work, out running, or sleeping, I’m at a physical therapy appointment.  If I didn’t have shin splints, I wouldn’t be attending physical therapy appointments.  Anyway, so physical therapy is primarily about making my shin feel better, but the secondary plot is the ongoing hijinks between Karen, physical therapist extraordinaire at Borgess at Woodbridge Hills, and me.  I’m quick-witted, as you know, and generally fare well in ongoing hijinks; however, physical therapy is the great equaliser.  Seriously.  You have no idea.  Well, if you’ve had physical therapy, you do have an idea.  If President Shrub had opted to authorise the CIA to use myofascial release in lieu of waterboarding, he would have gotten more information, and no one would want to indict him for war crimes.

Dear Shrub,

Don’t worry.  Plenty of folks would still want to indict you for other things.

Sincerely,

Darrell

The actual physical therapy stuff is relatively boring, except for the iontophoresis, which is always cool (except for the initial stinging sensation) because I leave with a bandage that has two watch batteries attached to it (and which seems to be attached to my leg with a high-strength adhesive).  The back and forth with Karen, though, makes a good, therapeutic experience into something good and fun.  Karen and I both recognise that she’s paid to cause me pain, and that it’s geared to improve my physical condition.  That being said, there’s plenty of back and forth between the two of us.  It makes the pain a little bit more bearable, and actually movitates me to go to therapy.  If I didn’t get along with my therapist, going to physical therapy would be much harder.  For the record, I’d be remiss if I didn’t give props to a lot of the staff there, including Melissa (who sometimes works on me in Karen’s absence), Tim (who is always there in the morning when I’m there, and who scared the crap out of Karen this morning without really even trying), and Carol (who offers a wonderful dry wit, and who I often beat to the office).