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When Condiments Leave This World

26 April 2013

All good things must come to an end. That even applies to ketchup. While preparing my Royal Red Robin burger for consumption, the devoted bottle of Heinz ketchup completed its mission in this life. Even as it approached the end, it used its last breaths to deposit the little bit of ketchup it had left into the proper spot on my burger. Its sacrifice will long be remembered in the annals of Red Robin history, and in the history of my burger consumption.

Not wanting its sacrifice to go unremembered, I quickly organized a memorial for Ketchup Heinz. First, we needed a burial shroud.

Even ketchup deserves an epitaph, right?

Once the shroud had been prepared, it seemed appropriate to bring all of the other condiments together to remember their fallen friend.

Even the little packets of sweetener made the trip across the table.

Note: This would be a good time to start the memorial music. In the absence of actual musicians, I settled for appropriate music online.

Click here for the music.

That link will open in a new window, so you’re encouraged to open it, then come back to read the rest of the story while the music plays.

The little moment of seasoned (get it?) remembrance was especially tough on Mustard Heinz. Fortunately, Red Robin Seasoning Salt was there to provide comfort.

“He’s really not dead, as long as we remember him.”

Thank you, Heinz ketchup. Your memory will carry on.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Sara J. permalink
    14 December 2013 7:17

    I wasn’t moved until the music began to play…

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