In cleaning out my wallet, I found a long-lost “fortune” from a fortune cookie. Along with my lucky numbers* and the Chinese word that I could learn, it offered me this:

Friends long absent are coming back to you.

I’m kind of curious as to who it might be, and under what circumstances they might be returning. I’m also open to suggestions. In the interim, I leave you with this:

* About those lucky numbers. Yeah, I’m not telling you what those are. Why should I share the fortune with you? Wait. Maybe that’s why my long-lost friends are coming back. Moochers.

Also, yes, I deliberately used those quotation marks around “fortune.” Most of them are platitudes, so I am very reluctant to apply the word “fortune” literally.